and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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