You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
