I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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