yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
