if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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