PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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