so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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