Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
