i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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