and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
