So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
