You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize