I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
