I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
