When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
