How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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