the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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