Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
