They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize