I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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