i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
