when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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