she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
