I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I need to calm my uterus...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
