Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
