life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
