Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
