in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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