i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize