My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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