I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
