Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
birth control should be required to get into college
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
