I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
