By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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