I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
