i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
