And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just google imaged poop.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
