I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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