wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
