Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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