I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
