How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
