Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
