Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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