More tranny stories later!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
