If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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