Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize