This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
