hell yes lets make some ravioli
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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