i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize