Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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