Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
