It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
