no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
