I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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