You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize