Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
