Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This house was built for laser tag.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
