we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
