Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
