you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
