She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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