Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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