i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
