i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
