I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Randomize
