party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize